Change Is Constant...

To say my life has changed a lot in the last year would be a bit of an understatement. My home, work, relationships, friendships, social life and waist circumference have all gone through a number of turbulent changes. Some have been good, some have been bad and some have been heavily misguided but the weirdest part is, when all is said and done. I'm glad.
Just over a year ago I wrote this, practically a self-fulfilling prophecy in that I yearned for something to change just before my life was about to be turned on its head. It hasn’t always been easy don’t get me wrong, there are one or two mascara stained pillows to testify that fact but I do believe it has been necessary.  

I am a creature of habit…this is why I have the rather undesirable tendency to occasionally get stuck in a rut (or when in a relationship; drop off the face of the earth). This personality trait of mine is the exact reason I was so unhappy a year ago and why having the rug pulled from under me was exactly that instead of something that 'just happens’ which is what is should have been. I hate this trait and have spent the last few months trying to change it. The sad truth is, the worse I feel...the less I try. It is a vicious cycle and so I have stopped denying the fact things change in the blink of an eye and just started making the most of it....Saying yes to things I wouldn’t have before, putting myself in situations I actively avoided before and generally just living my life a bit more and seeing how things go.

All this isn’t to say where I was a year ago was all bad…I did have a lot of love for the life I had and the love in my life at the time but I know I was letting myself disappear and I hated it and yet couldn’t bring myself to change. It also doesn’t mean what is happening now is all fun and games and cocktails with handsome men and fun girls. After all there are still bills to pay, work to do and days that pass with no plans (and a lack of handsome men). There are still days when I spend a large portion of it watching an entire season of a TV show, moving only to bathe and eat but these days are now a special treat rather than the norm and I feel much better for it.

I like the fact that I can change what I want to do next in an instant. I can act like a 15 year old and get tipsy in the park on a sunny day with friends or book a trip to Barcelona with my sister because it seemed like a good way to spend a weekend (and get an unplanned tattoo on said trip).  There are still things I want to change, things I want to stay the same and things I probably haven’t even thought to think about yet. I don't know what the next weekend holds for me anymore let alone the next month/year/decade but the uncertainty of it all is now exciting instead of terrifying. In fact the the uncertainty is the most exciting part.

The only thing that is constant in life is change….and actually I think I’m ok with that.

XOXO

I'm Not OK-I Promise

This won't be my most well written post...or say half of the things I would like to. I’ve wrote about this before…in fact that post was one of my proudest thus far…and I may appear to be somewhat of a broken record on this subject but it appears that no matter how many times people hear it, the message does not quite register. So all together now:

Rape is an act of violence NOT a natural hazard.

This post is a reaction to two things…the first was a post from someone on my facebook

When I saw this I sat for a good few minutes in shock. Shock that it appeared I was associated with someone with such a warped and pathetic view of humour and shocked that this could at any point even be considered funny. I have quite a dark sense of humour, I find the funny side in most things but the idea that someone could be so ignorant and blasé about such a violent act on a public forum left me aghast. The only thing worse was the bottom feeders that encouraged it with a ‘like’ and yes this included women.

The second thing that spurred this rant was the ‘Steubenville (Ohio) Rape’ and more poignantly the reaction to the guilty verdict. Prevalent in a lot of the coverage of this trial was the shared sympathy. Sympathy in a rape case seems totally normal right? Well not really, the sympathy wasn’t aimed at the girl who was violated and assaulted and raped…oh no it was to the two boys that did it. In fact the ACTUAL victim in the case has received a barrage of abuse and fallen victim a second time but this time to the people that should be supporting her.
These are the kind of boys we should 'feel sorry' for, classmates of the rapists who can be hear saying "She got that drunk though", "She might have wanted it, she couldn't say" and other horrifying views on what had happened.

*Roll up, roll up* Take a look at the comments on the CCN article, be amazed at the horrifying attitudes towards a victim. There is even a suggestion she should be trialled as an accomplice in her OWN rape? I mean…seriously? People still think like this?

It seems even in 2013 a time when we make so many wonderful advances  we still don’t seem to grasp the simple concept that NOTHING a girl can do is her asking to be raped or assaulted or even catcalled. Nothing.

Us ladies can wear a short dress, drink a little too much, flirt, enjoy sex, have a previous sexual relationship with the person and none of that makes us vulnerable to rape. The only thing that makes us vulnerable to an assault is the assailant. The only person ever at fault is the person that decides that they are entitled to someone else whether they like it or not… because there is not a girl in the world who would choose to be treated as less than human.

A drunk girl at a party? Yes she is vulnerable, yes drinking to the point of a black out isn’t the wisest of decisions but that is because you know it isn’t great for your health and you will be vulnerable to a hefty hangover but how about we all agree to leave the slightly messy girl alone to sleep it off and NOT decide to penetrate her body and violate her in an act of violence? We all agreed? Cool

Now let’s work on your stupid sense of humour next

Never Gonna Give You Up

And so we find ourselves here again, on this day...the day of pancakes. What a glorious day it is...and then it ends...and lent begins. Despite myself being in no way religiously inclined I use lent each year as an excuse to purge all the bad (read: glorious) food choices out of my life for 40 days and 40 nights.

I have done it for the past 5 years and last year I gave up 3 of my great loves...this year however I am going to attempt to step it up a notch to better both my diet (which mostly consists of cake and chocolate and regret) and my bank balance and give up the following:

1.      Coke- this includes all Cokes/Diet cokes, Pepsi, Dr Pepper- which basically are the only things I drink

2.      Chocolate

3.      Biscuits *sob*

4.      Cake *sobs hysterically*

5.      Unnecessary purchases-no more clothes or beauty orders (the only exception is if something essential runs out or breaks)

What that hell am I letting myself in for? All I can say is thank god I am single and enjoy my own company because I am not going to be someone you want to spend time with over the next 40 days...now excuse me I must gorge on chocolate before midnight!

Are you giving anything up this year?

XOXO

p.s. If you don't Rick Astely stuck in your head after reading this blog post's title we can not be friends.